I recently had the single worst experience in computer software--and I would never have expected it: I am referring, of course, to my experiences with Caere's Omnipage Pro 8 software, which I had purchased from an unsuspecting CompUSA for a price of $80. (I also purchased Pagekeeper Standard, since it had finally been updated to 32 bit.)

The time was 4AM, and after installing the app, an expected dialog box had popped up with an unexpected twist. The box stated that if I did not provide my personal information to Caere within 25 uses of the application, my access to the software I had purchased would be terminated. The personal information, as demanded by the web site as a condition of using their product--honestly, I must admit I had believed that paying Caere would be sufficient--consisted of:

• Name
• Address
• Phone Number
• Email

You can view the registration page at http://www.caere.com/live/content/support/registration/prodreg.htm? . A previous edition of this page mentioned that even Microsoft feared this tactic; now I hear that they´re planning to use it in Office 2000. DIVX on the Desktop doesn´t sound fun.

(These are for Pagekeeper, since I finally broke down and installed it. What a pity--wonderful programs crippled by idiots in Marketing slavering over demographics.)

You may be wondering why I would become so angry about being required to provide so little information. Allow me to explain:

1. It is an established standard in the computer industry that software that "times out" is to be considered trialware. I paid $80 for a package that will not work as advertised after a few days of operation. (Changing scanner settings requires you to lose one of your 25 boots.) It's one thing to download a trial demo--in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this is exactly what the trial has. It's another thing for something you buy in a store to simply stop working because the designers don't want you using it. Which brings us to...
2. Personal Information is worth money, and I've already paid up. In order to get me to register, besides telling me my investment will be rendered inoperable, I was offered the technical support I had already paid for and the discount merchandise I did not want. I would have been happy to provide my personal information if that's all they wanted, but once they recieved cash payment, they had no right to demand my identity.
3. False Advertising Is Fraud. The product has a feature list. At no point on the box do they say, "We have intentionally designed this software to cease functioning unless you let us sell your identity." Work of art or not, there is a definite palpable intent to defraud. When I called Caere's voice number and demanded to recieve a code without providing any information but my serial number, it was provided without problem. This is a clear sign of a policy that exists to trick those who don't know better--and anyway, thanks to ANI, Caere can already cross reference the serial number I was forced to provide with my phone number and thus my address, so they still get their demographic research.
4. (This is because of the telephone refusal to provide information) If I lose the non-bundled reg code, and reinstall Windows 98, I can no longer get access to Omnipage 8. What are they going to do when I provide a serial number previously registered? Answer: They will tell me I am attempting to re-register an already registered copy of Omnipage 8, and deny my the non-bundled access code.
5. Abuse of the shrink wrap license. At first, I thought that because the shrink wrap license doesn't mention anything about a requirement for registration, the "right to use the software" clause was being violated by the company. But, since the license(and most software licenses) let the authors of a software program rescind the right of its users to use the software they paid for, for no recompense, it turned out legal--and so utterly slimy, not even Microsoft would come close to doing it. (I would not speak so offensively if I did not feel so offended; please forgive me this.) This is yet another reason why shrink wrap licenses must be limited in their power--I fear the day when looking at an errant poster can conscript me by license. Remember folks--AT&T recently licensed one of their applications so that downloading it meant AT&T could spam you all it liked no matter what laws were passed--and they could transfer this right. Luckily, the AT&T researchers had a cow and convinced the public relations people that this was, in fact, incredibly stupid. Score one for science--PR saw the light and slapped down the lawyers.
6. NO PRIVACY REGULATIONS. What more needs to be said?